


unsteady (hold on to me)

by whatareuanacorn



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: It's better than it sounds I promise, M/M, Song Lyrics, josh is 28 and in love with tyler, kind of sad, lol it's christmas and i'm writing angsty sad one shots, please read this, says a lot, things get bad, tyler is 20 and in love with josh, tyler's parents don't accept that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-12 01:04:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9049090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatareuanacorn/pseuds/whatareuanacorn
Summary: if you love me, don't let go//song fic based off unsteady by x ambassadors.very much inspired by this video because it's beautiful and i can't stop watching it https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GsVXnCGij5o





	

**_ Hold _ **   
**_ Hold on _ **   
**_ Hold on to me _ **   
**_ 'Cause I'm a little unsteady _ **   
**_ A little unsteady _ **

 

josh sits down opposite tyler slowly.  
they agreed to meet in a small coffee shop the other side of town.  
tyler's family wouldn't look for him here.  
  
you see, they've been together for 15 months.  
  
tyler told his family.  
  
it didn't go well.  
  
they refuse to let him see josh.  
  
the younger doesn't look up when josh sits down, he can't bring himself to.  
he's hurt him enough.  
can't hurt him more now.  
  
'tyler, if you're not even going to look at me, this isn't going to work.'  
  
josh wonder's if tyler is choosing not to hear him. he crosses his arms on the table and sighs before continuing,  
  
'maybe they were right.'  
  
this gets a reaction from tyler.  
  
suddenly he's reaching out and gripping onto josh's arm tightly, his fingers digging in so hard, josh's skin turns white.  
  
  
 _ **Hold**_  
 _ **Hold on**_  
 _ **Hold on to me**_  
 _ **'Cause I'm a little unsteady**_  
 _ **A little unsteady**_

 

'i can't fix anything if you don't _speak_ to me.'  
  
tyler laughs humourlessly.  
  
'you can't fix anything. just don't let me fall any further.'  
  
josh blinks back tears, letting tyler grip his arms uncomfortably.  
  
'tell me what to do, ty. i need to help.' josh chokes out, trying not to raise his voice too much, not wanting to draw attention to either of them.  
  
'hold on to me.' tyler whispers, ' _please_ just hold on to me.'  
  
  
 _ **Momma**_  
 _ **Come here**_  
 _ **Approach**_  
 _ **Appear**_  
 _ **Daddy**_  
 _ **I'm alone**_  
 _ **'Cause this house don't feel like home**_  
  
  
'i tried talking to them. i tried. father screamed. mother cried. i'm not their son anymore.'  
  
'you are. you'll always be their son.'  
  
'i'm a faggot.' tyler hums thoughtlessly.  
  
'you're a human being.'  
  
'i can't go on like this. i can't. i've lost everything.'  
  
'you haven't lost me.'  
  
'haven't i?' tyler sighs, a sad smile playing on his lips.  
  
suddenly, josh is ripping his arms out of the youngers grip and rising from his chair, causing a few people to glance over at him before he moves round the table and slides into the booth next to tyler, grabbing his hand and pushing his forehead against the youngers forcefully, shutting his eyes and letting a broken sigh ghost over tyler's face.  
  
'you're never losing me.'  
  
  
 _ **If**_ _ **you love me**_  
 _ **Don't let go**_  
 _ **If you love me**_  
 _ **Don't let go**_  
  
  
after a few minutes, josh starts to pull away,  
  
'no, don't let go.'  
  
'i'm here. i'm right here.' josh whispers, squeezing josh's hand tightly. tyler starts crying softly, leaning against josh, 'i think we should leave. don't want people asking questions, do you?'  
  
'where are we going to go?'  
  
'anywhere.'  
  
'just don't let go.'  
  
'i won't, ty.'  
  
  
 _ **Hold**_  
 _ **Hold on**_  
 _ **Hold on to me**_  
 _ **'Cause I'm a little unsteady**_  
 _ **A little unsteady**_  
  
  
josh turns curiously when tyler stops in his tracks,  
'what are you doing?'  
  
'all i do is run and run from my problems. i'm tired. i can't keep running.'  
  
'you don't need to run from anything. you just need to live.'  
  
'but i can't, can i? if i make my parents happy, i lose you, if i make myself happy, i lose everything except you. and who's to say i won't lose you as well one day.'  
  
'i can't tell you what to do, tyler.'  
  
'i need time. i need to sleep.'  
  
'i can take you to mine?'  
  
'i have to go home. mum's expecting me.'  
  
'are you going to be okay?'  
  
'i'll be fine.'  
  
'you don't have to try to be brave, tyler.'  
  
'i'm not trying.'  
  
  
 _ **Hold**_  
 _ **Hold on**_  
 _ **Hold on to me**_  
 _ **'Cause I'm a little unsteady**_  
 _ **A little unsteady**_  
  
  
tyler is greeted by his mother when he gets home.  
  
'where did you go?'  
  
'cafe. i'm going to bed.'  
  
'tyler...'  
  
'no. no. you don't get to try and comfort me.'  
  
'i'm tired of fighting with your father, tyler. i don't want you to be unhappy but he's right. we didn't raise you gay.'  
  
'whatever.'  
  
'tyler-'  
  
'if you love me let me go.'  
  
she let's him leave.  
  
he gets into bed, tears streaming down his face as he unlocks his phone.  
  
 _(1 new message) joshua_  
 _fight. fight even if you feel like flying x_  
  
but tyler feels like dying.  
  
  
 _ **Mother**_  
 _ **I know**_  
 _ **That you're tired of being alone**_  
 _ **Dad I know you're trying**_  
 _ **To fight when you feel like flying**_  
  
  
tyler doesn't talk to josh for two weeks after that message.  
  
he can't hurt him anymore.  
  
he can't lose everything.  
  
but josh is everything.

eventually tyler caves in to josh's persistent texts. 

  
 _to: joshua_  
 _leave me alone_  
  
 _no_  
  
 _don't leave me alone_  
  
 _don't let me go don't let me go_  
  
  
 _ **If you love me**_  
 _ **Don't let go**_  
 _ **If you love me**_  
 _ **Don't let go**_  
  
  
tyler's head snaps up when he hears a frantic knocking on the front door.  
  
'i've got it.' tyler's father sighs, folding his paper up and setting it aside before standing up and leaving the room.  
  
'what the fuck are you doing here? get off _my_ fucking property!'  
  
tyler jumps up and runs to the front door, finding his father stood in front of josh, his mother watching from the kitchen.  
  
'please! tyler is your son, if you love him, you'd accept him!'  
  
'joshua, you should leave.' tyler's mother sighs,  
  
'no. i love your son. if you love him, you would understand.'  
  
'i want you to leave.' tyler's dad snaps and tyler sighs softly,  
  
'josh, just go. we can't do this anymore.' he chokes out, watching as josh's face falls.  
  
'no.' the elder whispers before pushing past tyler's dad and storming towards his love, gripping the youngers jaw and slamming their lips together, kissing him passionately.  
  
  
 _ **Hold**_  
 _ **Hold on**_  
 _ **Hold on to me**_  
 _ **'Cause I'm a little unsteady**_  
 _ **A little unsteady**_  
  
  
the world seems to stop.  
time seems to stop.  
  
nothing matters apart from kissing josh.  
  
tyler's parents are long forgotten as they kiss as though their lives depend on it.  
and really, their lives do depend on it.  
tyler is josh's life and if he loses him, he loses his everything.  
josh is tyler's life and if he chooses him, he literally loses everything.  
  
and right now, in his arms, tyler has everything. the love of his life.  
  
'hold on to me.' tyler whispers against josh's lips,  
  
'i'm never letting go.'  
  
that's until josh is being ripped away from him and thrown against the wall.  
  
'how _dare_ you walk into my home uninvited and molest my son!' tyler's father screams, slamming josh back against the wall when he tries to move.  
  
tyler watches as his father's fist collides with josh's jaw.  
  
' _DAD_!' tyler screams, running forward and trying to tear his father away, but he's not strong enough.  
  
  
 _ **Hold**_  
 _ **Hold on**_  
 _ **Hold on to me**_  
 _ **'Cause I'm a little unsteady**_  
 _ **A little unsteady**_  
  
  
before tyler can even think, josh is on the floor, lip split, face red and blood pouring from his nose.  
  
tyler screams.  
  
tyler screams until his throat is raw.  
  
he screams and sobs and begs.  
  
he doesn't know whats going on now.

he's just screaming.

 **no, stop, you're going to kill him, you're killing him, get off him, you're killing him**  
  
it's only when tyler grabs a photo frame off the wall behind him and throws it against the wall next to his father, near where josh is cowered on the floor, does his dad stop beating josh.  
  
'step. back.' tyler hisses and his father does so, raising his hands slightly,  
  
'calm down, tyler...'  
  
'no. step the fuck away from my boyfriend. NOW.' he yells the last word and his father does as he instructs,  
  
'tyler, please, your dads sorry, he just went too far-'  
  
'no. mum, please get some tissue and ice for josh. i'm going to pack a bag, and if you fucking touch him again while i'm upstairs, i won't hesitate to call the police.' tyler spits out, glaring at his father who backs away into the lounge, staring at his blood covered hands,  
  
'tyler, i'm sorry, i-'  
  
'no. i'm leaving. i never want to see you again.'  
  
and with that tyler runs upstairs to throw his necessities into his two rucksacks, stuffing each one with as many clothes he can fit among those items before he throws his ukulele, phone charger and journal into his ukulele case and runs back downstairs.  
his mother is knelt beside josh, holding ice against his nose while his father watches on.  
  
'we're leaving now. i may come round sometime to collect more things. i won't stop josh if he wants to contact the police about this.' tyler says, pulling his mother away from josh and helping his boyfriend stand.  
  
'tyler, please-'  
  
'no. you were right. i'm not your son. momma, i know you're tired of feeling like you're fighting this battle alone. i know all you want to do is make people happy, but you failed this time. so let me live in peace with the boy that makes me happy. let me be, instead of being gone.' tyler says through tears, his back packs slung over one shoulder as he supports josh on his other side.  
  
'daddy... where did you go? all this changed because i fell in love. because i love wrong. this house isn't home anymore. i'm sorry.'  
  
and with that, tyler and josh are gone.  
  
he puts josh in the passenger seat of his car and buckles him up carefully,  
  
'you don't have a licence.' he whispers, the first words he's uttered since tyler's father started punching him.  
  
'your apartment is ten minutes away, i'll be okay.' tyler sighs and kisses josh's forehead gently.  
  
  
 _ **Hold**_  
 _ **Hold on**_  
 _ **Hold on to me**_  
 _ **'Cause I'm a little unsteady**_  
 _ **A little unsteady**_  
  
  
two hours later and josh is on his bed, his back up against the headboard. tyler cleaned him up and checked for any serious damage, and came to the conclusion he's just badly bruised and a bit cut up, so the younger is curled up between his boyfriends legs, his head on the elders chest while he cries softly.  
  
'tyler, i love you, please stop crying.' josh whispers, rocking his boyfriend gently.  
  
'i'm sorry.'  
  
'no, you have nothing to be sorry for. it's okay. we're okay.'  
  
'my life is so unsteady.'  
  
'i'm here. i'm always going to be here. i'll be holding on to you, i promise.'  
  
'don't let go.'

**Author's Note:**

> merry christmas, but if this time of year is hard for you, i understand, it's hard for me too (that's probably why i'm writing sad fics)
> 
> you're going to be okay.  
> you made it this far, kid.  
> i'm always here.


End file.
